Ancient Wedding Crashers
by Aquatic-Idealist
Summary: Based on an old legend. During a stroll in Luoyang, Cao Cao and Yuan Shao come across a wedding. Cao Cao has a brilliant idea, at Yuan Shao's expense.


Ancient Wedding Crashers

 **Luoyang, ten years before the Yellow Turban rebellion**

"You know what, Benchu? We need to do something spectacular."

"Not that nonsense again, Mengde. Do you remember what happened last time? Old man Chen beat me nearly to death with that cane because he caught you and I stealing his carrots."

"Well, he beat _you_ nearly to death. I managed to get away." Cao Cao grinned.

Yuan Shao let out a groan. "Either way, we can't get within half a li of Chen's farm without him threatening us."

"Yeah, his dogs have an amazing sense of smell if they can find us. But _really_ , training and studying is the most boring thing ever. How do people stand it? When a man is born, do his parents look at him and think: 'My son should be the most studious and strong man ever! Even if he ends up working at a desk job for thirty years and then dies I will be proud of him!'"

"Actually, a lot of people think that way. Not just peasants. But surely no parent wants their kid to get caught doing bad things?"

"Whoever said I'd get caught? You're the one who's just too slow."

"Mengde... Sooner or later people will look at you and think 'is the Cao clan only capable of creating mischievous heirs like this?' If you want to gain honor and prestige for your clan, you cannot continue with these antics."

"C'mon, Benchu. Stop being so boring! Live a little. Luoyang is the capital of China, it's such a big city. Sure, it's not as beautiful as Ye or as intimidating as Jin Yang but it's quite a great place. We'll surely find something to do here."

"... Why do I put up with you?"

"Because I make your life interesting?"

Yuan Shao groaned as the two men continued strolling down the city.

But as they approached a park, they noticed a few banners floating around.

"Celebrating the wedding of the Li and Zhao clans... Benchu, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Um, what?"

"The bride must be hot!"

"Mengde!"

"No seriously, she must be a beauty if they'd post this many banners. Either that or either clan is really rich."

"Mengde, what did I say about your clan's hono-"

"That my antics make it worse, yeah yeah. Just you watch, Benchu. I can pull this off."

"No. You are not doing that. You can't be planning that. Cao Mengde I swear I'll-"

And Cao Cao sprinted towards the wedding.

Yuan Shao began to run, doing his best to keep up.

* * *

The Young Heiress of the Li clan stared forlornly at the mirror in her carriage. She was promised to a man twenty years her senior, a man of the prestigious Zhao clan. This wedding would ensure that the other branch familes of Li would have some financial support, and that Li's honor would remain intact in spite of a _female_ heir.

She shivered. If they killed her, they could have passed clan leadership to some branch family, but instead they made her go through with this.

As she continued to mope, she noticed something tearing through the cloth door of her carriage. With a startled cry, she started backing away from the tear, until it ripped open completely to reveal a man with a short sword.

"Good afternoon, Milady. I am at your service." Cao Cao grinned

* * *

"No, no. No No No No No No." Yuan Shao grunted as he ran.

But Mengde was already carrying the bride.

"After him! Do not let him escape!" Some of the wedding guards were yelling.

Yuan Shao stopped in mid-run. Why did he have to get involved with this? He didn't. He could just turn the other way, get a drink at some nearby tavern, and forget about all of this. Sure, he'd probably never see Cao Mengde again, but Cao Mengde was asking for it.

"Wait! Don't move!" Another group of guards yelled. "We have witnesses that claim they saw you with that thief. Who is he? Where does he live? Where might he be headed?"

Yuan Shao glanced at the guard's sharp spears and swords, and gulped. He was in for it now. Such was the fate of the friends of Cao Cao.

And as they closed in on him, Benchu closed his eyes. How would history remember him? Was he destined to be Cao Cao's punching bag? Was this how fate would repay the glorious Yuan clan?


End file.
